y2gender

I am a transgender person, currently using the word androgyne, neither of the binary genders, or somewhere in between. My partner and I were introduced from afar by a mutual friend in 1993, during my transition and year long real life test. We corresponded for a while and then met in 1994. The chemistry between us was very evident, however zie was in a relationship with someone else, and then a little while later I was involved with someone else too.

Fast forward two years, we reconnected. One night when talking on the phone zie asked if I still felt the same way as previously. The answer was yes for both of us, so we made arrangements to visit. A few months later I was packing a U-Haul and moving from the state where I’d lived for the previous 17 years.

Before moving to hir house in New England, I asked about the winters, zie said, oh they aren’t that bad. I don’t remember how many times I almost packed up to head back south that first winter. Except there was so much snow that I probably couldn’t have gotten my car out of the snowbanks to leave.

We’ve now been together 12 years. I’ve almost gotten used to the winters, and we are still very much in love. Not only does my partner accept me fully as whatever gender I might be, zie also enjoys freedom to express hir gender in whatever way feels right for hir, even though zie doesn’t necessarily identify as transgender.

We live with my partner’s daughter and our cat. We aren’t married, however our state recently passed civil unions, so maybe someday. We’ll be more tempted once DOMA is repealed and civil unions come with all 1000 + federal benefits, although I guess we might have to wait a bit longer for that.

cross posted Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2008

This past Thursday, Colorado Governor Bill Ritter signed into law SB200. This bill adds transgendered people to the list included in the state’s non-discrimination law. In the weeks preceding the passing of this bill, and the few days since Governor Ritter has signed it, the right wing websites and blogs have have been ablaze. I’m not going to quote them here, if you’re interested in reading what they have to say, a Google search for Focus on the Family, Colorado Family Action, Family Research Council, WorldNetDaily and Americans for Truth (About Homosexuality) will keep you busy for quite a while. Their missives about this bill are laden with incorrect use of male pronouns for post op male to female transsexuals and excessive use of quotes around “names” and “gender identities". They seem to be particularly focused on M2F transsexuals and cross-dressers terrorizing women and girls in public restrooms.

I’m finding what is left out of these diatribes to be fascinating as well. In all of the articles I’ve read, they never, ever mention the issue of FTM transsexuals in the men’s room. Perhaps they’re saving F2Ms for a different issue in the future. I’m guessing it might have to do with fear of stealth invasion of sacred male space such as football games or hardware and auto parts stores. These gender transgressions could destroy the moral fabric of society as we know it. I’ve also noticed that these articles never bother to consider or address the safety concerns of M2F, F2M, cross-dressers, genderqueers or androgynes using the men’s room.

They’re really using transgender people as a big scare tactic to raise money, and they obviously don’t care if a few of us get queerbashed in the process.

As I sip my coffee, I’m feeling my dormant 80s ACT-UP, Queer Nation, Lesbian Avenger, Transexual Menace, theatrical activist side waking up. I’m envisioning an action, perhaps a “Million Men in Dresses March… on Public Restrooms". Not women’s rooms though. Instead, all of us “men in dresses” would go to the men’s room. Hey, we have to go somewhere! We’ll pick a day, a week, or perhaps even all of LGBTQ pride month, and during that time, we “men in dresses” use the men’s rooms. Each and every day. All across the USA.

If you haven’t finished electrolysis or laser, consider not shaving for a few days. I suggest wearing high heels, makeup, jewelry, and don’t forget, plenty of slinky, non age appropriate, over the top, bright pink clothing too. If you don’t pass as your birth sex anymore, you might want to bring along a copy of your original, unaltered birth certificate, just in case someone questions why you’re in there. I don’t suggest going alone though, much better if we go in groups for safety concerns. I also wish to be inclusive, so perhaps my FTM friends would consider using the women’s room during that time, in solidarity with us. And our LGB and straight allies don’t need to feel left out, you are all welcome to participate too.

This is only the beginning. After the bathroom invasion, I’m thinking of applying for a job… in a Christian bookstore or school. I have already picked out my outfit for the job interview.

cross posted at The Bilerico Project

Gendering. We all do it. We meet someone, and automatically categorize them as being male or female. We add up both obvious and subtle cues to figure out which sex they are. Maybe we have good gaydar skills, and further identify them as gay or lesbian. This is a useful skill, especially if we’re single and looking for a potential partner, or perhaps a date for this weekend. Maybe we also have good transdar skills, and can even identify the person as having a transgender history, someone who has lived as a different gender in the past.

I don’t know whether gendering other people is human nature or just learned so early on that it seems natural to us. But then, once we go into the processing department, we clearly have sets of cultural assumptions that are assigned with each gender. These assumptions have been conditioned in us since childhood, we expect certain traits, mannerisms and behaviors to go along with the gender that we think we see. We’re also conditioned to respond to the person and perhaps act in different ways, depending on which gender we think we are relating to. This is what I wish to explore further today.

I am a person with a transgender history. I transitioned, did what is known as the Real Life Test for a year or so, and came to the realization that I am neither gender, or somewhere in between. I decided at that time to not go any further with HRT, hormone therapy, so I inhabit an outwardly appearing male body with a psyche that isn’t male. In a perfect world with no discrimination, my gender expression and clothing choices would lean closer toward the feminine, however I also like to eat and have a roof over my head, so I wear male clothing to work.

A few years ago, I started meeting other people who also don’t identify as either gender, some are androgyne, genderqueer, bigender, two spirit, neutrois, etc. Some of these people’s gender expression is androgynous, or a mix, others appear more as their birth gender, and thus are invisible to others unless they out themselves. I also have friends who are transsexual, but for various reasons, haven’t transitioned. As I’ve gotten to know fellow gender variant people, I realized that if I didn’t know their transgender status, we could meet on the street and not have any idea that we were family, so to speak. This really got me thinking.

We cannot see someone else’s subconscious gender identity. This macho looking guy might really be M2F transsexual. This woman with long hair might be a non transitioning male identified androgyne. Who knows? We’re not all wearing signs that announce our preferred gender to the world. Or even name tags. I can see mine now, “Zythyra, male bodied, female identified androgyne". Maybe if we had a secret handshake so we could recognize each other…

I dislike when people make assumptions about me based solely on my perceived gender. Because of this, I endeavor to relate to other people in a gender blind manner. It doesn’t mean that I don’t see their physical sex characteristics, but I don’t want to act one way toward someone who is perceived as female and another way to someone who is perceived as male. I want to treat everyone the same, simply as human beings.

Here’s the cool thing. Sometimes, when I don’t talk to the macho guy as a “guy", he surprises me, and perhaps himself, saying things that allow me to see the true humanity inside. We get past our differences, and see each other as real people. My ongoing challenge is to continue throwing away my own assumptions of who people might be. Regardless of their perceived sex or gender. I wonder what the world would be like if we all tried this.

cross posted at The Bilerico Project and Some Notes on Living

Sometimes, as a transperson, it’s easy to feel left out, what with all this talk of GLB only ENDA, DOMA, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, etc. Today, thanks to the attentions of my friends at Focus on the Family Action and Colorado Family Action, I’m feeling truly loved and appreciated as “a man in a dress". Isn’t it nice to finally be noticed!

Radio Ad Causes Anti-Discrimination Controversy
By Political Reporter Marshall Zelinger

COLORADO SPRINGS - An arm of Focus on the Family is fighting an anti-discrimination bill ready for Governor Bill Ritter’s signature. Senate Bill 200 will make discrimination based on sexual orientation illegal. It passed through both the House and the Senate earlier this year.
Focus on the Family Action and Colorado Family Action have produced a one-minute radio ad encouraging you to call the Governor and tell him to veto the bill.

This is a transcript of the radio ad:

“Mom…”

If the Colorado legislature has its way…

“A man in a dress came into the girl’s restroom at school today.”

We could all be dealing with a new type of predator.

“Honey, there was a man in the women’s showers at the gym today, and the management said it was, it was Colorado law.”

And instead of our kids worrying about class work, they’ll be worrying about who might be in the restroom with them.

“No way I’m going in there (school bell), I’d rather wait all day if a guy’s in there.”

Our children must be protected from predators, but if Governor Ritter won’t veto Senate Bill 200, all public restrooms, including those in our public schools, will be open to anyone of any sex.

Colorado’s Democrat-controlled legislature has already passed this bill, but Governor Ritter still has time to veto it. Call him now and ask him to protect our kids and veto SB 200. Call 303-866-2471. 303-866-2471.

Brought to by Focus on the Family Action and Colorado Family Action.”

In the recent Time Out New York, there are a few questions with stunning bearded supermodel Andre J.

Issue 660 : May 22–28, 2008

Bearded supermodel and downtown socialite Andre J. (né Johnson) is primed to be NYC’s next It boy. Or girl. Or, well, you know what we mean.

You love wearing women’s clothes, but you don’t consider yourself a cross-dresser. Huh?
I am an individual. I am someone who is extremely fashion-forward. I am someone who has X and Y chromosomes, and I utilize them both. I am genderless. I am love, baby. Love, love, love, love, love. Love of living!

What are you wearing right now?
I’m wearing a beautiful, clean, snakeskin-print caftan. I’m barefoot and in touch with the earth. I am fresh and alive.

I live in rural New England, I wonder how many more years it will take before this kind of fashion statement catches on up here…

Right on Andre!