I’ve given considerable thought to the economic crisis and have come up with a solution for creating new jobs that will also effectively deal with another important issue. I’ve been following various news reports and blogs from sources as diverse as the Christian Right and Classic Transsexual women regarding an epidemic of transgender invasions of public restrooms.

These transgender terrorists are taking over colleges, churches and businesses nationwide, with their incessant demands for gender free restrooms, locker rooms and dormitories. Men wearing dresses, clutching handbags, with visible Adam’s apples and 5 o’clock beard shadow, striding into the ladies room in their heels, scaring the bejeebus out of law abiding, binary gender conforming women. There have also been reports of butch lesbians and pre-op transmen using the women’s room. No restroom is safe!

We need to take action right away. I hereby propose that Congress pass The Protect Our Toilets from TrannY (POTTY) Act. The POTTY Act will train and hire special forces of bathroom personnel. Gender Guards ™ will be stationed at each and every restroom throughout the United States to make sure that these men in dresses can’t use the women’s rooms. If anyone of indeterminate or questionable gender presentation shows up trying to enter the women’s room, Gender Guards ™ are standing by. Armed with state of the art Penis Detection Devices (PDD), they will hunt down the evil perpetrators before they can “do their business” in the presence of your wives and daughters.

Think about it, how many public restrooms are there nationwide? Millions. With a capable Gender Guard ™ in every one, this will not only protect our citizens, but also go a long way towards providing good jobs for out of work Americans and rebuilding our economy!